Book Recommendation:“Not Nice”
Written by Jessica Gerber
“Not Nice,” written by Aziz Gazipura, is one of my favorite books I’ve read in 2021. Aziz Gaz
ipura analyzes the concept of being nice. Typically, being nice is something that is admired and encouraged in society. However, Aziz Gazipura takes a deeper look at what it means to be nice and when it’s possible that being too nice can be detrimental to a person and their relationships.
Aziz Gazipura found in his personal and professional life he was suffering from “too much niceness” by having trouble directly asking for what he wanted and saying no. He explains that he thought by never saying no and appeasing people he was being a good person. However, it’s difficult to maintain healthy relationships if you are not living as your authentic self and advocating for your own interests. Many times, when a person continually just says yes, ignoring their own interests, he or she may lose out on connecting with individuals on a deeper level.
Dr. Gazipura analyzes why one might be afraid to say no. Some of the main reasons he discusses are the fear of disapproval, as well as subconscious patterns that people have picked up throughout the life, especially in early childhood. It’s important to recognize these thought patterns and stigmas we have surrounding saying no, to start to advocate for yourself.
This book not only applies to personal relationships, but also professional relationships. In a professional setting, I find that it can be very difficult finding the balance of when to say no. However, I’ve found that by not knowing when to say no, your energy and attention will be divided among different areas and projects. To be the best recruiter possible, it’s important to take on projects that you feel you can invest your energy into and create an impact. Additionally, being your authentic self allows you to be vulnerable and create lasting relationships with candidates and clients.
While this is a balance I am still trying to master, Aziz Gazipura has given me the tools to start this process.